Somewhere in the Suburbs of Chicago there are two CPA Affiliate Networks that seemingly have decided to go to war against each other, creating drama worthy of its own reality TV show. In one side is Ryan Eagle, the one-time teenage CPA-guru who made millions being a pimpled-pimp. On the other is Yousif Yalda who, after meeting Ryan Eagle at a neighborhood birthday party, followed in his footsteps to also gain unknown riches. With accusations of hacking, AIM Spamming, and even worse, infringing on each others territory like teen-age drug dealers, this is a war that the industry is intently watching.
Yes, the Real Housewives of Chicago is the next big drama on Bravo, staring Yousif Yalda and Ryan Eagle. Both used to plan sleepovers together, but now have decided to take on each other publicly, and to even go after each others clothing preferences.
Yalda has sent us the following statement, intent that Ryan Eagle is in-fact the devious mastermind who hacked his aim account, told everyone that his company is going out of business and then signed him up to an Acai Weightloss program that he can’t cancel because of the re-occurring billing.
Ryan Eagle is directly responsible for breaking into AIM account ‘PKMYousif’ and mass spamming the contact list with false accusations of the network going out of business. We have opened up an investigation with AOL Inc. to show true authentication of the account. Eagle may claim he is trying to avoid the drama, he’s actually ignited the flame. This of course entails bumping old threads on WF, harassing my mobile line, and more accusations that I cannot disclose publicly yet. We hope that Ryan Eagle (EWA Network) halts ALL ridiculous attempts to tarnish the Profit Kings Media brand. We want for the public to realize we are still in business, will continue to pay our affiliates, and to know these rumors will be aired out quickly.
In response Ryan Eagle has pointed out:
This is a very bizarre situation to say the least, and quite bluntly I feel it’s an attempt for someone to gain publicity off of my name. The issue was elevated to me (along with other slanderous comments) and my legal has already contacted him requesting that it cease & desists. Eagle Web Assets did not hack, nor even know how to hack, AIM accounts or anything along those lines. I’m quite honestly just trying to avoid all of this drama that people are stirring up as there are much bigger fish to fry.
On the next episode of the Real Housewives of Chicago, Yousif calls up Ryan upset, screaming that he stole his boyfriend. Ryan, upset that he’s been called a whore on the phone, goes on Facebook and posts pictures of Yousif looking fat in a bikini. Then their parents get involved and ground them both.