Epic Continues to Shit On Everyone

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One June 6th, I personally decided that the epic crap that Epic Media Group was pulling on affiliates was so damn ridiculous that everyone needed to know what exactly they were doing. As I pointed out in the article “How Epic Media Group Fucked Affiliates”, they had basically shut down Epic Media Group, and then relaunched another company Kinetic Social in the same offices (most people using the same desks) and.. well… pretended that nothing happened. On top of that, they basically lied about the financial stability of the company  and put people with zero executive experience as officers of the company, while flushing it over and over again until they couldn’t smell their own stench.

Their response was was posting a response on their website the next day claiming that their company wasn’t really “shut down.” I had thought that perhaps I’d ignore this, but still now at the end of the month, nothing has happened – and more and more companies have informed me that they have launched lawsuits and are getting together to take action both against Epic and their new company.

Here’s the letter they posted on their website. I was nice enough to translate a bit for those who didn’t get exactly what the letter was saying.

I am David Graff and I’m writing to provide you with an update regarding Epic Media Group (EMG) and its two ongoing businesses, Epic Advertising and Epic Marketplace.

You may be aware despite us trying to hide it that EMG has experienced significant financial challenges (we no pay shit to anyone) over the past several months or perhaps the last year or so, which have adversely affected our ability or desire to pay our publishers and partners in a timely manner or at all. A series of extremely difficult issues, including significant lawsuits against predecessor companies for privacy violations,  the collapse of several large advertisers, the stealing of all our pens ,and the economic downturn in general have had a negative impact on our cash flow. Did I forget to mention the entire executive team “left” and opened a new company in the same exact offices and put the janitor in charge of entire company? Oh… I must have forgot that.

EMG has been taking steps to address such as writing letters to everyone begging that you don’t sue us, our obligations to our creditors and partners and operate as efficiently and effectively as possible. We have closed offices and stuck the same people in the same rooms, significantly reduced our headcount and fired anyone who can tell the truth, cut executive compensation no more playboy parties 🙁 , and reduced the number of active publishing partners to absolutely none in order to better manage our liquidity. Liquidity=Shitloads of Champagne, bitches. Management is also developing, together with our Board of Directors and secured lenders, a comprehensive plan that we hope will allow us to continue operations as another company that doesn’t owe you crap and resolve our liabilities. I’ve been asked recently to spearhead this process, and I am working diligently to do so. People are going to soooo hate me. I knew I should have taken that job at WB Studios, but nooo, the wife wanted to stay in NYC.

To that end, I have engaged a professional firm, Accord Associates, a Company hired when people don’t want to pay their bills, to assist Epic in contacting our publishing partners via form letters that you can wipe your ass with and vendors in the next week to discuss payment arrangements or at least offering to send you more letters.  Please don’t call me, send me hate mail, please contact them, please? Via this website, I would also like to open a line of communication so that I can provide updates on the company’s progress. You may also contact me at questions[at]theepicmediagroup.com. Lol, wonder if the fuckers are going to notice I didn’t give them my real email.

I do want to clarify what may be some confusion about the total lack of EMG’s corporate structure. At times of corporate hardship, rumors abound; most recently, we have seen some blog rumors suggesting that EMG has “closed down” I know, closing the website to write a letter about your financial problems, doesn’t imply you are closed down and “transferred” people over to new companies. This is REALLY REALLY not the case. Epic Media Group has not been shut down, we’d prefer you call it “ceasing operations” but we have been negotiating sales of corporate assets such as the Herman Miller chairs and the massaging bidet that is in Don Mathis’ office  that are no longer critical to EMG’s core business. Likewise, some EMG employees  (ok all of the executive team), confronted with potential downsizing and no more sexy assistants, have chosen to accept positions at other companies that are located in the same offices.

I relate the above simply to ensure that there is adequate transparency during this time, unlike the last year where we lied our ass off. Again, we want to keep an open line of communication, unless you want to call us,  and provide you with factual what we want you to know, accurate (unlike that Performance Marketing Insider publication which fucked up our entire plan) information about EMG. Our team, well, just me is doing everything it can to address our financial challenges someone stole all the fucking coffee machine for the benefit of all (well, mainly the guys who took your money) affected parties, including our valued (I just threw up writing this shit) publishers, affiliates and creditors.

We regret the hardship and inconvenience that this may be causing and ask for your patience and cooperation as we work through this process of fucking you over so hard it hurts.

Thank you,
David Graff (Did I forget to mention, I’m their Attorney?)
Epic Media Group and its affiliates


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